Family
First-Aid Kit
Our help
is in the name of the Lord,
who made
heaven and earth.
-- Psalm 124:8
For a 4-H speech she's giving this
week, a young friend has invented a special kind of first-aid kit. It has
everything you might need to provide first aid . . . for a family!
Now, we all know about the typical
emergencies that can beset anyone in a family: boo-boo's, bug bites, owies and
ouchies. This teenager listed the practical ones we all know about: Band-Aids,
aloe vera gel, Neosporin, alcohol wipes, cotton balls, an elastic bandage, ice
packs and gauze pads.
And we all
know we should turn to God and His Word, first, in emergencies.
But then
there are the OTHER kinds of things that happen in a family, that require
occasional first aid. You know: tranquilizers, a stun-gun, gags, muzzles, a
straitjacket, Global Positioning technology and Invisible Fencing.
She's a sweet, young teenager, and
she doesn't know about THAT stuff. But otherwise, everything is here.
You might have fun filling your
family's imaginary first-aid kit with other stuff you might need. In the
meantime, join me in celebrating the wit and wisdom of Berea Bennett, just 14.
I think she's on to something:
Syrup of ipecac:
They tell parents of young children to keep it on hand in case your toddler
swallows something poisonous that needs to come right back up. But Berea's
first-aid kit has it for another reason: her father is blind. But that doesn't
stop him from trying to cook. One time, he made French toast . . . and mistook
the Dawn dish soap for the syrup. Ewwww!!!
Defibrillator: This
is actually for the neighbors, rather than for the Bennett family. You see,
this blind dad of hers likes to have fun. And this semi-crazy mom of hers got
him a pair of roller skates a few years ago. The first time he whizzed down
their street on skates, the neighbors all practically had heart attacks. Hence,
the defibrillator: their nerves may take a licking, but they'll keep on
ticking.
Wrench:
Berea's 5-year-old sister, Lydia Jean, talks so much that Berea thinks the kit
should include a wrench in case her jaw ever locks up. Then again, maybe lockjaw
for Lydia would be a good thing, she says.
Ear plugs:
See above.
Bullet-proof vests, riot helmets,
chain mail and Greek fire (which is sort of like an ancient flamethrower):
The first four Bennett children were girls. Life was tranquil. Since then, the
family has added two boys, Andrew and Wesley. Uh oh. Berea says, "Our house is
forever filled with cowboys practicing their six-shooter quick draw, medieval
knights dueling and jousting, Viking warriors raiding and pillaging MY bedroom, Elfin soldiers shooting
bows and arrows, and Darth Vader hacking and stabbing everything in sight with
a light-saber. Scrapes and bruises are plentiful, but there has to be a serious
amount of blood loss before Mom even raises an eyebrow."
Blow dryer:
There's a 10-year-old sister, Hazelle, who is pretty calm and easy-going. But
she has an unusual allergy. Whenever Hazelle gets cold, she breaks out in hives,
and itches like crazy. The blow dryer is needed to thaw her out. Not for
Hazelle's hair - for Hazelle's hives.
Cootie repellant:
Chassé, a sister who is 13, loves to smooch on the cheeks of the little
brother, Wesley. He has the cutest, fattest little cheeks - totally
irresistible -- but he absolutely hates it when she kisses him. Like most little
boys, he thinks kisses give you cooties. Let's hope he keeps thinking that 'til
he's, oh, 30 years old.
Anti-glare visors:
The oldest sister, Angel, 20, lives away from home now, but visits often. She
has taken to using those new whitening strips for her teeth. Boy, do they work!
Gas mask:
Imagine a household with six kids living at home, all very active. Now imagine
the mountain of dirty, smelly socks that they can create. Ewwww!
Haz-Mat suit:
Berea's Mom needs this for handling the "hazardous material" that comes with
taking care of a large family that tends to all get the stomach flu on the same
day.
That's a
Mom for you: the ultimate first-aid kit! †